


So Hard to Say

by waffleironman



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-17
Updated: 2012-08-17
Packaged: 2017-11-12 07:43:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/488405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waffleironman/pseuds/waffleironman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint wants to tell Natasha how he fells...it takes a few tries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Hard to Say

**Author's Note:**

> I've been thinking about doing something for the lovely pairing that is Clint/Natasha (Blackeye, if you will) for awhile now. I couldn't keep the Tony/Steve from entering this fic though. I've been working on this a lot. Mainly around the time of 1AM, however, I don't think it turned out too bad! Hopefully no one is OOC, I'm kind of worried because I've not got this pairing down as well as Tony/Steve, but, here's my attempt at it! I typed most of this out on my iPod, so it may have some typos and things like that.

There were reasons this wouldn't work.

The main one being the fact that she had shown barely any signs that she felt anything other than a form of friendship for him. Had she? Sure, he had been told it was there. Many times. But, Clint didn't see it. Maybe he was missing something.

Thor had said something, Bruce made a comment, of course Tony put his two cents in, even Steve had agreed with one if Tony's comments.  
He had to be missing something.

So, confessing his feelings was going to go smoothly, right?  
Telling Natasha Romanoff that he was in love with her would be easy.

He had to give it a shot.  
What could go wrong?

The first time he tried to tell her was during a movie marathon night.

Almost everyone had fallen asleep halfway through the fourth movie. Thor was sprawled out on one side of the couch, Bruce was curled up in the recliner, Tony had Steve's head on his chest as they both slept on the loveseat, (Clint thought that was rightfully named).

And that left Clint on the other side of the couch with Natasha.  
Due to Thor, they were rather scrunched together right now. Natasha's head was resting on Clint's shoulder, causing Clint's heart beat just a tad bit faster. He looked down at her and saw her eyes on the screen, slightly unfocused.

He figured she'd be drifting off soon, but this seemed like a good moment to tell her how he felt. Maybe he was just thinking that because he was totally exhausted, but, he was going for it.

He focused his eyes on the screen ahead as he attempted to figure out how he'd say this. He'd played it a million times in his head, but now that it was reality, it felt different.

"Hey, 'Tasha?" He whispered.

"What?" She snapped, quietly, letting her eyes finally shut.

"I, uhh…I was just going to tell you something."

"'m listening." She wasn't. Tiredness started to take her. She started to drift off before she could even attempt to hear what Clint had to say.

"It's just-I just have these…feelings, you know? Like, I-I really like you. You're my best friend, Nat. And, besides that, you are beautiful and smart and brave and just…I sound ridiculous. Okay. Let me finish. this is just so hard to say, you know, out loud. But, I uhm, well, Nat, I-" he took a breath and closed his eyes as if he was getting ready for someone to punch him in the face. "I love you."

He sat there waiting for a second, for something. For anything. However, he didn't get what he expected.

His only reply was a soft snore.  
Apparently, she had fallen asleep

He sighed, opened his eyes again, and looked at her. Yeah, she was out. "Or, I just wanted to say, goodnight."

The next time he tried, he made sure she wouldn't fall asleep. So, he decided the best time to do it would be about a week later, first thing in the morning.

Right in the middle of the kitchen.

He probably should have thought it through.

So, when he woke up, he went to the kitchen, made coffee and attempted to plan out how to tell Natasha how he felt.  
Although, he was in there for nearly a half an hour, just sitting at the table, it didn't seem like he had enough time, before she groggily made her way to the fridge, pouring herself some juice.

He sat there awkwardly, as she put the juice back, and wondered if she knew he was there. He opened his mouth to speak, but, was cut off before he started.

"Good morning, Clint." She groaned. She wasn't a morning person. Clint thought it was adorable, he was the only one. "Why are you in here so early anyway?" She sat next to him at the table.

"Uhm, I wanted to see you." He said, as nervousness hit him, hard. He took a drink of his coffee and smiled, awkwardly. "Alone." He went on.

"Why?" She asked, slowly, raising an eyebrow.

Clint replayed a few lines he'd rehearsed in his head, and took a breath. "Nat, I, uhm- I think you're...I think you're beautiful," he started.

She looked at him, confused. Probably because she had just woke up, and her best friend was telling her she was beautiful. "Beautiful?" she repeated.

"Yes." he said, more confidently than he felt. "Beautiful. And, I really wanted to tell you that."

She nodded slowly. "Uhm, thank you, Clint. Is that it?"

"No, no. It's not. I also wanted to tell you, that I-"

"If you make me sit through that movie again, I will murder you." Tony entered the room, followed by Steve, interrupting Clint's mostly planned out confession of love.

"I rather like that movie," Thor added, entering as well. "I enjoy the straw character. He makes me laugh."

"See? Thor likes it." Steve pointed out, happily. "And, I'm not buying any of your threats anymore, Tony. You wouldn't hurt me."

Tony rolled his eyes as he poured his coffee. "You don't know that, Cap."

Steve smiled lightly. "Yes, I do."

"Well, bottom line, pick a new movie." Tony looked over at the table where Clint and Natasha were sitting. "Hey lovebird, lovespider."

"Did I hear another Wizard of Oz argument between you two?" Bruce asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"I wouldn't classify it as an argument, really." Tony shrugged.

"No, it was more of a married couple tiff." Natasha said, dryly.

"Tony and I aren't married though." Steve looked at Natasha, then Tony.

"You guys could have fooled us." Bruce added, quietly.

"How about we all watch that film where the man joyfully sings and dances in the rain again?" Thor asked, smiling. "That one was also good."

Steve nodded. "I did like that one."

"Or, we could watch Star Wars. Now, that is something iconic you two need to see." Tony said.

"Of course, we'd probably need to watch the whole saga." Bruce added.

"They will never sit still that long." Tony sighed. "Katnis, Princess-" Tony caught the look Natasha threw his way, "Natasha." he corrected. "Movie suggestions. Make it good. Cap and Thor really need caught up."

"We do not need caught up." Steve said, and Clint could have sworn he saw Steve roll his eyes. That was new. He had to of picked that up by spending time with Tony.

"I bet they've hardly seen any romantic movies." Natasha said.

"No! They have!" Tony exclaimed. "Singin' in the Rain!"

She shook her head. "Doesn't count. It's a musical as well."

"A romantic film?" He scoffed.

"We could just watch the Wizard of-"

"Fine! Fine. Someone pick out a good romantic film." Tony interrupted Steve. "Anything without sparkly shoes and flying monkeys."

Natasha laughed quietly, and turned back to Clint. "Oh, what were you going to tell me?"

He sighed. "Nothing. Not important."

"It had to be important, Clint. What was it?"

"I'll tell you later, alright?"

She nodded and smiled. "Alright, sure."

That night, Clint was going to give it another shot.

Third time's a charm, right?

Just after they had all finished watching a romantic film that Natasha suggested. Thor and Bruce both left and Tony went to get up and leave as well, although, Steve had fallen sleep on him during the last couple minutes of the movie.

"Really?" Tony said, nudging Steve with his legs. "Steve, wake up. They already think we're dating, you can't sleep on me."

"We don't think you're dating." Natasha said, quietly. "We know you're dating."

Tony sighed, and kicked at Steve again. "Come on, Cap. Wake up and defend your nonexistent heterosexuality."

"Stop kickin' me, Tony." Steve whinnied as he woke up.

"Then get the hell up, Steve." Tony replied, annoyed.

Steve mumbled something that sounded like "No you're comfy.".

"Okay, you asked for it." Tony said, then stood up, leaving Steve to fall off of him and wake up, almost fully.

"What was tha-" Steve started but stopped suddenly as Tony caught his eye. He was walking out of the room, and signaling Steve to follow him. Steve actually figured it out and sighed. "Tony, I'm tired." He said, catching up to Tony, both of them leaving the room.

"Well, uhm, you going to bed or-?" Clint began, standing up, looking at Natasha, who stayed right in her seat, not showing any signs of moving soon.

"I'm waiting." She cut in, before he could finish.

"Waiting?" Clint sat down again. "Waiting for what?"

"This morning you wanted to talk to me, I wanted to know what it was about. You seemed…I don't know, nervous." she shrugged.

"I was. Well, I mean, I am. But, I, uhh, I guess I ought to just say it..."

"Say what?" She asked and watched carefully as he got up, and stood stood up in front of her.

"Okay, Natasha," he took a breath. He was doing this. He was actually doing this. It was happening. He was going to say it. He was going to man up and- "I, uh, I forgot." -chicken out.

"You forgot?" She stood up. "You had something important to tell me and you forgot?"

"Yes?" He sighed. "Sorry, Nat. I just…I'm sure it'll come back to me by tomorrow or something."

"You couldn't have just forgot." She frowned, "What is it?"

He looked down. "Sorry. Whatever it was couldn't have been important or I would have remembered, right?"

"Sure. Right." She sighed, as well. "It's fine, Clint. I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

Clint closed his eyes as she walked past him towards her room. "Night, Nat." He stood there until he heard her door shut. "I am stupid." he muttered to himself. "Totally stupid."

Clint decided to give it one last go.

Three weeks later, practically just after another round of them saving the day, he started to rehearse the same lines as always in his head, hoping he'd not make a fool of himself.

Somehow, he knew what to say and do in his mind, but when faced with the reality of Natasha, he was powerless. If he saw her, his brain stopped working. He forgot everything he should say, everything he should do. He just knew she was beautiful, and that he loved her. And that was all.

So maybe trying to plan what to say would only end in failure. But, an outline of what to say felt needed so he'd not look like too much of an idiot.

He had made the decision mid-fight. He knew, if everything went well, he had to tell her how he felt. He wasn't going to wait another minute. He wanted her to know how he felt. How he had felt for months. Years, really. He wanted her to know she was the most important thing in his life.  
And he was going to do just that.

After everything was taken care of, Tony suggested food, Thor agreed, Steve pointed out that nearly every place to go get food was damaged, and then Tony called him a dream killer.  
The usual.

Before anything turned into an argument, or they got sidetracked or busy again, Clint went over to Natasha and attempted to ignore the nervous feeling that was already starting. "Hey," he said quietly.

She smiled, taking him back a bit. She never smiled like that. This smile, it was one of those "light up a room" smiles. One of the smiles he didn't see often. "I wanted to talk to you." she said.

"Oh, I-I wanted to talk to you too" He said, already losing his imaginary cool.

"Come on, then." She whispered, still smiling. She took his hand and slowly backed away from the rest of the gang. Next thing he knew, she started running, dragging him along with her.

"Where are we g-?" He asked, a bit late. They had stopped already. He looked around a second, and then focused on Natasha. "Why did you pull me down an ally?"

"You wanted to talk, I found a quiet place without any of the others around." She shrugged. "So, go on."

"No, you wanted to say too something, right? Ladies first?" He smiled lightly. He was losing his courage so fast.

She nodded. "Yeah. Okay, I'll go first. "

And, then everything was in slow motion, but it happened too quick. She had wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Clint couldn't even respond at first, he just stood there, hoping he wasn't dreaming. He eventually let his eyes close and pulled her closer, kissing her back, like he'd always wanted to.  
And, he felt like an explosion had gone off in his mind, like he had found something that was missing forever, like everything melted around them and they were the only people left. He felt like everything was right.  
However, a second later, she backed away. "Alright." she said, looking at her feet. "What did you want to say?"

He took a breath and attempted to gather his thoughts. "Uhm, what just-?"

"I thought you were going to do something like that." She looked at him. "Not now, I mean. But, that day you said you had something to tell me. I thought you were going to tell me…that. I guess I was wrong, but, I could have sworn…" she trailed off, sighing. "I thought that was how you felt. -But, I couldn't wait anymore. I was going to do that this morning, but all hell broke loose here. So, was I wrong? Or do you feel how I think you feel?"

"Nat, I-" he started, he was going to say it. But, he gave up.

Instead of words, or lines, or anything beautiful he had been thinking about her, he used her technique. He stepped forward, put his arms around her waist, leaned in, and kissed her. Finally.  
He gained confidence as her arms took place around his neck again, and she kissed him back.

Somehow, it almost felt better the second time. This time he was expressing his feelings. He tried to put all the words he hadn't said into this. He wanted to just let the whole world know he loved her. More emotions than he knew he had started to overtake him. He wanted to laugh, cry, shout, cheer, hold her as close as possible. Something. But, holding her this close, and kissing her like this felt like a start to Clint.  
Slowly, she pulled away again, but this time she was smiling.

He smiled back at her, happiness quickly taking control over his mind. "Natasha," he said, taking her hands and catching his breath. "I love you."

"I love you too, Clint." She said, and it was simple. It wasn't drawn out, it wasn't over dramatic, it wasn't a whisper or a yell, it was simple. It was easy. It was just a fact. A wonderful, lovely, amazing, fact. She loved him. Just like he hoped she would.

"And, I was going to tell you, that time. I, well, I chickened out." He admitted, as she took his arm and they started walking back to where they had split up with the others.

"I thought so," she said, "but, then I thought maybe it was something else, but…"

"I was just a wuss." he finished.

She laughed. "Basically."

He shook his head, laughing with her. "So, then why didn't you make a move sooner?"

"I was waiting for you." She said, "But, then I got impatient and figured you'd get scared again."

"I wasn't scared." He said, confidently. She just nodded, poorly hiding a laugh in reply. He knew she could have not laughed. He knew she was better at hiding emotion than that. "I was not scared!" he repeated, she only laughed harder.

Twenty minutes later, they had met up with everyone at some restaurant Tony dragged them to.

Although, neither noticed that they were holding hands when they arrived in front of the booth where they were all currently sitting. "Hey" Clint started, but didn't get any further before Tony was the one to notice their intertwined hands.

"Oh, god. It's finally happened." Tony said, and looked at the pair. "You two finally admitted your feelings? I hope so, because you guys have been so annoying with the whole 'oh, I love you but I won't say it because you're hot and I'm a scaredy-bird' thing."

"Why am I singled out there?" Clint asked more to Natasha than Tony as the pair sat down. "We all know who he's talking about when he says something about a bird."

"But, anyway, congrats guys." Tony finished.

"So, you two are actually together?" Steve asked, "Like a couple?"

Natasha looked at Clint for confirmation a second before answering, "Yeah, we are."

"That's nice." Steve smiled lightly, and looked over next to him at Tony, who just took a sip of coffee and avoided Steve's gaze.

"Congratulations, my friends!" Thor practically yelled, cheerily. "I've suspected you two were meant to be for a while now."

"We all have." Bruce added, un-hulked since the last time Clint or Natasha had seen him. "So, when did it happen?" He asked, taking a bite of his sandwich. "When did you finally decide to confess your undying devotion to each other?"

Clint shook his head, laughing softly. "Which time?"


End file.
